Archives for May 2011

Grandchildren Speak


 

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY GRANDMAS!

This came by email last Mother’s Day and I do not know who the original writer is, but thought but thought it was cute and worth passing along.

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she’d done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, “But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!” I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye…

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you start at 1?”

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was THAT?”

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally polished my halo and I said, “No, how are we alike?” “You’re both old,” he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story. “What’s it about?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”

7. I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!”

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, “It’s no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.”

 9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, “I’m not sure.” “Look in your underwear, Grandpa,” he advised, “mine says I’m 4 to 6.”

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, “Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.” The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. “That’s interesting,” she said, “how do you make babies?” “It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”

11. Children’s Logic: “Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher. The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.” The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked.  “Sure,” said the young boy confidently. ‘It means carrying a child.”

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one child. “No,” said another. “He’s just for good luck.”  A third child brought the argument to a close. “They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrants.”

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. “Oh,” he said, “she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we’re done having her visit, we take her back to the airport.”

 14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don’t get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.

         

Senior “Memories” Video

This will be the start to a section for Seniors, those of us who are older but wiser–hmm-maybe.  I am hoping that this will become a favorite area for Seniors to enjoy, comment on and share without having to “tweet”.  (a little humor)

This is such a nicely done video by Pam Peterson, a caberet singer.  It is very well sung and the humor should bring a smile to your face.

10 Mental Health Tips


 10 MENTAL HEALTH TIPS 

  1. Make time for Family and Friends –Relationships need to be nurtured.  If taken for granted they will not be there to share life’s joys and sorrows.
  2.  Build Confidence-  Identify your strengths, abilities and weaknesses.  Accept them, build on them and do what is best to do with what you have.
  3.  Accept Compliments – Many of us have difficulty accepting compliments and kindness from others, or just saying “Thank You”. We need to remember the positive strokes when times are tough.
  4.  Give and Accept Support– Friends and family relationships thrive when they are “put to the test”.
  5.  Identify and Deal with Moods– We all need to find a safe and constructive ways to express our feelings of anger sadness, happiness, fear and joy.
  6.  Manage Stress– We all have stress in our lives but learning how to deal with them when they threaten to overwhelm us will maintain our mental health.
  7.  Create a Meaningful Budget– financial problems cause stress. Over spending on our “wants” rather than our “needs” is very often the problem.
  8.  Volunteer– Being involved in community gives a sense of purpose and satisfaction and creates a feeling of well-being. Find something that you enjoy doing and be a volunteer in that area.
  9. Find Strength in Numbers– sharing problems with others who have had smilar experiences may help you find a solution and will make you feel less isolated.
  10. Learn to be at Peace with Yourself– Get to know who you are, what makes you really happy, and learn to balance what you can and cannot change about yourself.